Oh, I could not stay away from this.

Following weeks of rumors that Michael Jackson would perform for the first time in nine years at the World Music Awards last week, Wacko Jacko showed up to the show and announced that he would not perform.

Perhaps, though, he realized that might not have been a great move, because toward the end, Jacko jumped on stage with a gospel choir and sang “a few shaky lines from ‘We Are the World’” a Rolling Stone Daily email from last week said.

That, slightly unpredictably, did not turn out so well. The stunt provoked the half-full arena to hiss like a bunch of snakes. Oh, man, I wish I had been there. Way to piss off all your fans, Psycho.

And to perhaps add insult to injury, he collected his two awards (the Diamond Award and Guinness World Record Award for “Thriller”) from Beyonce with the following words [read in high pitched voice]: “I’m greatly humbled by this award. It was my dream that ‘Thriller’ would become the biggest selling album ever. I thank God and you for its success... I love all my fans from the bottom of my creepy little heart.”

Okay, so he didn’t say that exactly, but he did thank all his fans from the bottom of his heart. And then he has sex with a boy on stage.

Okay, that didn’t happen either, but it wouldn’t have surprised me. What a weirdo.

But, seriously, really? Really, Jacko? You’re going to lie to everyone by not performing and then you’re going to thank them. Bahrain can have you. We don’t need your creepiness here anymore.

You piss me off, Jacko, but boy does your weirdness remind me why it is that I <3 rock stars…