Britney and K-Fed. K-Fed and Britney. Who knew that such a perfect love match would crumble for no apparent reason? It was just a matter of time really.

Britney suddenly filed for divorce last week after reportedly finding another woman in his hotel room. It may not have been the immediate cause, but it apparently aggravated the already strained relationship.

But that’s not even the crazy news!

One day after Brit-Brit filed for divorce, her “rapper” husband submitted his own papers requesting child support and custody of the couple’s two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

“Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals,” said K-Fed’s attorney in a statement.

Do you think K-Fed knows what half those words mean? Furthermore, do you really believe that crap? If K-Fed was so concerned with safeguarding his children, where the hell was he when little Sean Preston fell ON HIS HEAD? Or when Mommy Britney took him for a drive?

K-Fed won’t get custody, but can you imagine? Just what the word needs: two little kids with pudding for brains running around shouting “popozao.” Great. That’s what I look forward to.

But what really makes me giggle is the fact that the freeloading rapper wannabe really thinks that it’ll all work out for him in the end. What is he going to do with all those kids anyway? Start up a franchise? Maybe. Stranger things have happened.

And what makes me giggle harder is the fact that he thinks that once he gets that severance package from Britney, he’ll be okay. Hey, Brain-dead, you really think that money is going to last you the rest of your life? Because your career sure won’t.

Way to go K-Fed. You really make me smile in a “God what a stupid asshole” type of way. But it’s a smile nonetheless. Much love yo.

You make me remember why it is that I <3 rock stars.