Life just isn’t working out for Madonna lately. Her recent tour has brought numerous negative comments about the part of the show where she crucifies herself while wearing a crown of thorns. Cities have publicly chastised her and network television refuses to air the now infamous part of her show. But just to add to her public humiliation, there is now drama surrounding her attempted adoption of Malawian boy David Banda.

A couple weeks ago the Malawi government said that the adoption should not be allowed because they don’t let just anyone adopt their babies. There’s a lot more to it than just providing material things (pun intended?). They also have to be assured that the child will be brought up in a nice, moral household. They actually said “moral.” Oh, and something about not letting non-Malawian people adopt their babies. Moral. Hah!

However, the plot thickens for good ol’ Madonna. Now, Yohane Banda, the birth father of little David said he thought the material girl was going to adopt the baby on his behalf (like not permanently). He said that had they told him that she wanted to adopt his son for the sole purpose of making him her son, he would not have allowed it.

“It would have been better for him to continue staying at the orphanage because I see no reason why my child should be given away forever when I can feed him,” Banda told Reuters. However, Madonna and her hubby, Guy Ritchie currently have temporary rights and already have little David in their home in London.

Wow, what a way to be a kidnapper, Madonna. You should stop trying to be like Angelina Jolie, who has apparently made it cool to adopt children from foreign countries. You’ll never be as cool as her. You’re over the hill. You were once cool, but you stopped after you picked up that British accent after what, like a week?

Also, way to go breaking that poor Malawian father’s heart. Way to steal his child. I’m proud of you.

But why am I the only person who notices that? Damn, I wish I was a rock star. Then maybe I could get away with crazy, heartless shit. Damn. I <3 Rock Stars.